My Feeling

I had a very strange feeling this morning.

I was waiting at the Tai Wai platform, waiting for the KCR to come, I was standing at the very front. I felt a bit dizzy. I was moving fore and back, swinging at the platform feeling that I was going to fall down. I held my breath, looking at the rail and a sudden flux of jumping off the platform crossed my mind. I was thinking to jump off when the KCR came, I woke up all of a sudden. Feeling strange, looking around, all the people were still there, reading newspaper, queueing up, rubbing their hands, talking on the phone.

Stars were swirling over my head, singing and dancing, I couldn't catch up the beat, I was a bit slow these several days, the medicine made me a bit tired and sleepy. I was thinking why I was there, waiting for the KCR, looking like a robot, doing the same sort of things everyday. Woke up, took a shower, got changed, taxi to Tai Wai, got on the KCR, then bus to Causeway Bay, then work and work and work and work, working nonstop.

"Ming, be prepared that you won't be able to meet up your friends these several weeks"

"Ming, you can't be sick this month"

"Ming, you shouldn't this and shouldn't that...."

All these come up to my mind every single minute, even when I am dreaming, I dream of that.

"Ming (screaming)................."

Life is always not easy, not easy to start nor stop. What comes around, goes around. Take it or leave it. After days and days, happy or not, all depends on how to think. My choice? I don't know, I will say, I try hard to make myself happy and enjoy my life, trying to make those pissed me off to love me, turning enemy into "friends". Yes, that sounds a bit awful, but anyway, that's LIFE.