Happy, Unhappy

Finally, the war ended, as some of you may know or some have already heard the update in the industry. To be honest, I am not happy with the result, no dout, the victory belongs to my side, but so what. I feel a bit bad, not cos I have mercy on my enemy, I think we should have a royal fight, I hate to win cos someone surrenders.

I am not sure whether I am happy or not, I only know I am not happy all the time, not cos of the job, but for some reasons, I don't know that's the problem, I am not that happy that before. 2 years or 3 years ago, I am not like that, but now, I kinda lose my energy, I am tired, so tired of talking, laughing, where's the smiling face? Or I get used not to feel happy or I am always like that, maybe I pretended I was happy before. I don't even wanna talk, I am not sure.

Maybe there are a lot of things bothering me these days, somehow it's quite hard to find the ways out, seem I amlosing my friends in some ways. Every time when I come out, I can't stop thinking, thinking whether I was used to be like that, what should i do to be the Ming before, are my friends tried of listening to me, keep on thinking what did I talk to my friends 2 or 3 years ago? Maybe I worry too much, I am not sure.

Anyways, the war is now ended, can enjoy the peaceful moment for a while hopefully. Exhausted, both physically and mentally, maybe that's the price of being an adult. Adult, a term that I always dreamt of when I was young, but now, it's such a horrible and terrifying word to me, no point of return. Let go? Somehow that's no easy, talking is always easy, but when you really need to do that, seem there are tons of weight on the shoulder. Maybe that's what we called "Pressure"...

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